Col. Edward Thomas Ryan was many things in life—a brother, an uncle, a retired firefighter, and a distinguished Army veteran. But perhaps one of the most poignant aspects of his story was his journey with his sexuality.
In a heartfelt and brave gesture, Ryan chose to reveal this part of his life in his own obituary, published by the Albany Times Union on June 8, 2024.
Born into a world less accepting of diverse sexual orientations, Ryan lived a life of service and dedication. He served his country with honor in the Army, rising to the rank of Colonel, and later transitioned to a career as a firefighter, where he continued to protect and serve his community.
Throughout these roles, he was admired and respected by his colleagues and peers, though they were unaware of the internal struggle he faced.
In his obituary, Ryan candidly shared, “I must tell you one more thing. I was Gay all my life: through grade school, through High School, through College, through Life.”
This revelation was not just a statement of fact but a profound testament to the challenges he faced and overcame in his personal life. Despite living in a time when being openly gay could lead to severe repercussions, Ryan found love and companionship.
He revealed that he had a loving relationship with a man from North Greenbush, New York, whom he described as “the love of my life.” Their relationship spanned 25 years, filled with joy and mutual support, a testament to the deep bond they shared.
Ryan’s decision to come out posthumously was driven by a lifelong fear of being ostracized by his friends and family. This fear, deeply ingrained and ever-present, kept him from living openly during his lifetime.
His words, however, were not just a confession but a plea for understanding and acceptance, highlighting the societal pressures that force many to hide their true selves.
His obituary stands as a powerful message to those who might still be struggling with their own identities. It underscores the importance of love, authenticity, and acceptance, encouraging others to live their truth without fear of judgment.
Ryan’s life and his posthumous declaration serve as a reminder that love transcends all barriers and that the courage to be oneself is a legacy worth leaving behind.
Col. Edward Thomas Ryan’s story is a poignant reminder of the progress society has made and the distance yet to be traveled in the fight for equality and acceptance for all, regardless of sexual orientation.
His life, marked by service and bravery, is equally significant for the personal courage he displayed in sharing his truth, ensuring his legacy would inspire future generations to live openly and authentically.
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